Monday, October 10, 2011



You just turned eight years old. I can not believe how fast these years have gone by. It scares me to death knowing that the next eight will go by even quicker, and you'll almost be the age I was I was when you came along. That is not right. You should still be a baby. I want to hold you in my arms and stare at you like I used to do so often. Now, I snuggle you up in the bed, mine or yours, before you wake up and just look at you and beg time to slow down. Your face is still as precious as ever. I could watch you sleep and give you a thousand kisses every morning and still want more. Please don't ever make me stop. I wish that I would have realized how precious this time was when you were a baby. It never hit me until you were older that it went by so quickly. There is a lot that I wish would have been different, but then again everything has turned out just wonderful. I didn't realize the importance of prayer and our relationship with Jesus was, until you were older.  Since then, we have grown together so much. I am so ever grateful to have had you to grow with. Even though I remained your parent, we have developed many strong bonds that others have no clue even exist. Thank you for being a strong boy and patient with me as I have discovered the kind of mom I want to be. I regret having always treated you like you were so much older than you really have been. I am saddened when I remember how much I expected of you to be so little. But I have always done the best I have known how to, and together we have made it to this point. I am so proud of the big boy you have become. I know you should be sleeping in your bed every night by now, but there are very few times when I have wished that you were in yours. When you sleep with me, I feel so much closer to you because I get to watch you like I said earlier.  When I wake up and pray for you and your day, I can whisper it in your ear so that you might hear me. I pray everyday for you to be a good friend. Any boy your age likes to be silly and sometimes forgets to to be good friend. But I also tell you that the number one thing Jesus wants you to do is tell your friends about Him. We talk a lot about things and I get so happy when I see the results of my teaching you. The other day, you told me about two little girls laughing at another one that was crying. You did not laugh with them, you told them that you did not think it was funny and made the other girl feel better. Again, on the bus one girl was picking on another and messing with her bow. You told the little girl not to worry about the one being ugly. Those things make me so proud of you. We still have to work on other times when kids embarrass you, and you want to say things back to make everyone not laugh. But we will get there! You are the sweetest cousin to Palyn. Anyone would assume you were her big brother. You get sad when she's sad and happy when she's happy. You miss her when she's gone and can't wait to see her again. Just like a big brother, you even manage to pick on her and make her scream when she's not paying attention to you. I adore watching the two of you together. You have taught me more than anyone in my life. I am so thankful that our lives have gone exactly the way they have this far, because we are here now together. After meeting Shane and bringing him into your life, I knew he would be the perfect husband for me and the perfect daddy for you. God is so amazing. I feel like he had to shape me into the woman I am before sending us someone as wonderful as Shane. Our family now feels complete, even if God chooses not to add to it, we have each other and the three of us will have an amazing life together. We made it through our times alone Caden, and you have been the best "man of the house" that any single mommy could have asked for. I am sure you dont stepping aside and letting Shane fill that role now. Please remember that you and your life will always be what is important to me. You can come to Mama about anything, nothing can make me love you less. I will guide you and pray with and for you until the day I am gone from this earth. I love you more than life itself, and you will always always always be my baby. 

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